I’m constantly amazed at the intricacies of our language. Its flexibility and evolution continues to strike me dumb. For example, as soon as a new technology or career emerges, there comes after it a whole new realm of words in which to confound us. Take for example journalism. Not a particularly new career, but it still spawned a whole new load of jargon in which to make people sound a bit more intelligent.

House Style – Could be taken to be the style of the interior of your house, or maybe whether it is terraced, detached, a cardboard box or whatnot. In journalism, it is a sheet for staff and freelance writers with information about which words or spellings the publication prefers.

Consequentially, this publication, my blog space, has no particular house style. There are no preferences. However, my blog is an example of the how words are created by new pastimes, new technologies. Blog itself means web log. Have you ever seen a reference to this in a Dickens novel? English seems a particularly accommodating language, ready to accept new words into its fold. Just look at what the dictionary has included in recent years. “Doh”, “dogging”, “duh brain”. It’s interesting to think how the pace of change will continue; in the next fifty years will the term blog exist? Whatever happens there must always be someone who is in command of some word or term that makes us alien, and therefore reduce us to a shambolic outdated wreck.

British comedian, Dave Allen speaks about the vaguer parts of the language. Especially good when considering the use of pleasantries for threatening someone.

Ever had the certain misfortune of living down a Butt Lane? I used to. “How’s the butt?” they would ask, “is your butt for sale?” others would quip. Oh how these people would joke with the pretence of comedic skill. “Get lost” I’d say, offering the greatest of all the comebacks in my arsenal.

Please shed a tear because for many people in England embarrassment about ones address is a prevalent emotion. Loonies Court suggests all the residents to be strait jacketed nut jobs whilst Bell End, well, it’s just not very tasteful is it? Street names are a familiar adage for England; they certainly make maps more of an interesting read than their American (34th Street etc) counterparts. But for those unfortunates that happen to live in streets like: Bummers Hill, Knob Lane or Fanny Street, street names are simply not a joke.

Take for example that common Middle Ages street name: Gropec#nt Lane. Not particularly elegant but nonetheless popular. Indeed this name has been sported in many cities throughout the ages including: Bristol, London, York and Newcastle. In fact there is still a Grope Lane that exists today in Shrewsbury. As times changed (and morals too) we saw the decline of the number of Gropec#nt Lane’s in our fair land. However, supposedly creative town planners couldn’t be arsed to stray too far from the name, some simply shifted it to Fondle Street or Poke Skirt Lane. Imagine living on these streets!

 The author with a particularly amusingly named sign.

Where we have: “Ello there, guv”, a greeting commonly exhibited amongst male friends of certain familiarity, which is fairly centric to London, and almost always precedes the further inquisition; “how’s it all going?” there then exists the: “Hello, how are you?” which is a largely formal way of inquiring about an acquaintance, and is also probably the most sensible way of greeting someone of an unfamiliar appearance. Then there is “alright?” and that’s where the trouble begins.

“Alrights” place in the catalogue of English greetings is a particularly difficult one. It isn’t really a sentence or a question. It is mainly nonsensical and is largely devoid of true sentiment. It has however turned into something of a necessary tool for teenagers and young adults alike. Give any other Anglophonic nation the ‘A’ word, and receive stony stares, bewilderment or even a literal response; “Yes I’m doing great thanks” - is exactly the kind of response a mumbled “Alright” deliberately attempts to avoid.

“Alrights” function is to simply acknowledge the presence of someone recognized, whilst indicating that there is no time or will to stop and exchange niceties. It is in a way a form of dismissal, which is abused by the shy and retiring types of our nation. The adoption of the word in this new context has significantly marked a dramatic departure away from its adjectival or inquisitive purpose. It is now a very familiar greeting, or indeed non-greeting, that has wormed its way onto the streets of Britain and has burrowed deep into heart of our youth culture. The next time someone mutters “alright?” counter them with a; “I so desperately need to talk to you!” and watch the awkwardness unfold.

  Saying “Alright” is tantamount to burying your head in the sand.

This is brilliant not just for a nice little laugh but also from an educational viewpoint. The video makes a host of good points, the fact that the word transcends adjectival, noun and verb use is particularly unique. It’s flexibility and evolution is particularly interesting. The fact that its now so easily bounded about, makes one wonder where the fate of the language’s last taboo word (the ‘c’ word) lies. Is it now a dying word that has a limited effect?

The new buzzword amongst British youth these days is making the rounds in varying contexts of the everyday environment. The word in question: “safe”, is commonly used to describe something that is stable, secure, structured; or any other ‘s’ related adjective that fittingly posits it in a similar frame of reference.

‘That’s safe’, ‘He’s safe’, ‘It’s going to be safe’ can all be encountered in any confrontation with today’s youth culture. The terms use itself does fittingly have the same connotations. To say one is ‘safe’ is to say they are a cool creature, not likely to be irritating or unruly. In this way the words usage is much the same in similarity to its traditional use: ‘it’s locked in a safe place’. Again, to say: ‘it’s going to be safe’, is supposed to appear a tempting prospect to those it concerns who may feel the topic in question is going to be boring or a waste of time. Those who should amply respond: “No way man, that’s going to be well unsafe”.

New speakers to the language may be particularly confused when encountering the term in this new colloquial realm. People are not referring to safe houses, or safety first, or safety in numbers, it is rather simply that they are using it is an alternative to the tired adjective ‘cool’. Finally after sharing this knowledge I urge all my readers out there to be safe, not from sexual predators, not from drugs, not from sexual diseases, but rather to just be safe, be cool, be relaxed. Be Safe!

The difference between American English and British English is particularly difficult to spot to non-native speakers, but to us native tongued creatures these differences can be glaringly obvious. Apart from the spelling: ‘color’ for ‘colour’, ‘favorite’ for ‘favourite’ there exists certain different semantic forms that refer to similar meanings.

‘Hey, I like your bangs, there so cool!’ Such statement may provoke stifled responses from your typical British English speaker. A certain difficulty in attempting to discern what exactly is being referred to may be the first point of contestation, swiftly followed for mistaking such innocence for emboldened crassness. What are bangs you say? Is this some kind of secret term you have for ‘certain’ body parts that belong to me? Well, such rationale is not so far from the truth.

For an American to refer to your ‘bangs’ is for them to comment upon your hair. However the term is limited, it cannot extend simply to a shaven head, but must be in reference to a fringe. Why they don’t simply use the word ‘fringe’ is largely mysterious, it succeeds as being one of the many words in British English that can have multiple meanings, which depends largely on context in order for us to discern its correct usage. ‘Fringe’ can refer to the margin, or the ripples being made on the edge of a community, it can also refer to festivals: ‘Edinburgh Fringe’. Examining this word and its American substitute leads us to wonder what the motivations are for coining such terms into language when sufficient terms exist in reference to the object.

Is this replacement an act of creating a unique form of language independent from that of the old colonial foe? Is it a process of assimilation from the colloquial to the standard in the sense of diction? Maybe it is because of the complications that arise from the words multiple usage in varying contexts, this may have lead to the need to use one identifiable term in which to refer to an individuals ‘hair bits’. I might just simply say: ‘Hey, look at my hair that falls sweepingly over my eyes’ but I sense this would not be such an effective topic of conversation. Especially amongst male peers. Down the pub. Whilst watching sport.

The author’s bangs, (on the right)

The way Japanese people learn English is really quite beautiful. As you can see they are really optimistic about the situations they may encounter in an English speaking country: “take anything you want”. Maybe it is crucial to teach them how to act in the moment of a mugging, I’m sure they would definitely take the time to really think about how to pronounce “spare me my life” properly, it’s just instinctual. I think the songs are sure fire hits; the funky looping beats behind the repetitive chants really cement the teachings in one’s head. I’m going to bed with “I was robbed by two men” echoing in my head. Thanks, YouTube.